[SailfishDevel] On accusations made against me and the current situation.

[Carsten Munk]

Hi all,

I've subscribed with my private e-mail account, the following is my
own private view - and my only comment on this that I need to make, I
hope - this is a technical list after all.

I think this whole thing is a sad situation, between two people - and
with more people and a whole company dragged into the problem. But
there has been accusations in the most recent e-mails against me that
I feel I need to comment on.

But I need to tell you an analogy of this entire thing first.

Meet Insurance Worker Amy. Amy meets a man in a party, perhaps
thinking he might be a good friend, they exchange phone numbers, they
talk for a bit over the phone, perhaps meet, but Amy decides she does
not want to continue contact with him. Despite that, the man keeps
calling, starts showing up in random places such as her bingo night -
when it gets awkward, she refuses to come to places she knows he'll be
at. The man starts creating constructed problems with insurance, only
focused on the aim to get to talk to Amy at work - and Amy naturally
refuses to deal with him.

The insurance office owner gets wind of the issue and refuses service
to the man, asking him to leave for abusive and harrasive behaviour
towards one or perhaps more of his employees.

Do you see anything wrong in this situation and the choice made by the
owner? Does anything change when it surrounds software instead, or
other substitutions?

I understand that there may be two schools of thoughts here - that the
person on the other side of the McDonalds' counter is a faceless
automaton only there to serve customers.. or that the person on the
other side of the counter is a human with feelings, relations, rights
and worries.

I know what world I'd prefer to live in - the one we treat each other
like humans. I don't want to be a faceless "Research Team" e-mail. The
one where you genuinely wish somebody to have a good day, or smalltalk
and smile when something goes wrong in your service request. One where
abusive customers are thrown out.

Now, let's get to the accusations. In that context, I'll say that I
have 3.1mb logs of IRC conversations with Filip, several pictures
taken together, meetups, blog posts. I've been a friend and tried to
be to be a good friend, say what I disagree with with his behaviour,
but I'm no longer talking to him - he stepped over the line again,
reverting to previous behaviour. Abuse is something that is
unacceptable to me that people I associate with do.

"Psychomanipulation through guilt trip" and "mental gun"

The case here was that Filip had stepped up his things some time
before that and turned abusive, acting out and creating artificial
situations. I simply stopped answering his e-mails as I didn't want to
deal with him. No ignores, no blockades, still discussing in public
IRC channels. When he forced the matter, I sent him the following -
calling him out on his behaviour and that I no longer wanted to
associate with him because of that:

http://releases.merproject.org/~carsten/noforcingwasdone.png

That was it. That triggered the apology by him - both on Twitter and
on mailing list [see meeting logs], I was very surprised to see it.
While I'd love to have 'sudo make me a sandwich' powers, I do not have
that skill. I thought he had honestly seen the error of his ways and I
forgave him - it must have been a really strong experience for him to
apologize -- and perhaps too publically. We spoke again. In
retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have given him more chances.

In the subsequent days, he explained why he had done things in detail,
working through the why, going really deep and processing. I can only
encourage Filip to publish the log between us of the 15th December
2013. I give my consent for that to happen for my parts of the text.

If the public apology was somehow dishonest and not his own words,
then I'm really unsure of how to treat everything else that has been
said in the last days and especially last years.

"Squeezing truth into somebody"

Is it not the job of a good friend to tell you when you're doing wrong
and screwing up?

"Carsten's past"

I've been a silly teenager. Overly Attached Teenager. Overly analytic.
That's it. No embarassement there. Anybody who knows me for years
knows that. Life gets better, you get beyond being a silly teenager -
you grow up.

This is all I feel I have to add to this topic. I hope everybody that
has been following this situation, will see the multiple angles on the
matter and form your own opinion with a more full view.

If you want to know more, or comment, please, contact me on my private
e-mail, let's not fill this mailing list more up. It's the wrong
forum, entirely, for private matters.

And as one last comment. Filip, I sincerely worry about your state.
You were doing so much better. I'm really sad to see how things turned
out now. What ever is going on with you, it's not something I enjoy
seeing in somebody I have cared a lot about as a friend. This is for
sure not the way forward to get better and change your life for the
better.

Best regards,
Carsten Valdemar Munk (private person)